Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you had me at cake vodka
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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