super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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