I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
