Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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