Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
