Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
