Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
love makes seman taste better
cat food counts as protein by the way
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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