I love black thongs
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
