David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
