I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize