If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
