i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
