I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
