this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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