I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
