I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
