took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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