im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
