Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
