i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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