So drunk its hurt
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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