I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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