In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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