You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
