So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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