This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize