im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
