Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
