I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
