You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
