Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
