whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
