who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize