all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
