dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize