i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
