do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
