Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
