so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
