At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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