Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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