So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
