I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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