my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
