Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
