just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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