he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
