I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
