I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Non-Jews are for practice
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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