dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
