I was born with a shot glass in my hand
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
