What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
