I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
