Swine flu. Run for my life!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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