i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
