If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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