New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
