Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
