So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
