I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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